Thursday, October 9, 2008

An Open Letter to the Upset Mentor in my IM Box

Dear Upset Mentor,

It is truly nice to talk to you. Thank you for only IMing me when you are really ticked off.
I wish we could have said three words to each other when things were nicer. Maybe had a nice discourse on the Help Islands or what you thought of a Wiki entry. But you did not give me the courtesy of a baseline conversation and now you are in my IM box losing your mind in 2000 words or less.

I am all about helping other mentors. I am very pro mentor and pro resident. So I am going to be courteous and read this small novella you are typing to me. What I am going to do is try and figure out which one thing needs attention first.
In the meantime, while you type away, I am going to list off some things I have wanted to mention to you about IM messages and common courtesy.

Doc this is all screwed up! is not how you say hello.
You are a giant butthole!!!! is not how you get my attention.
Rails told me to IM you, doesn’t tell me why.
If anything as Mentors, we should know how to IM someone. If you are not in a chat group at the time of the need to contact someone, please remember to say hello. If you are talking to someone in a chat group then you do not have to say hello because a conversation is already in progress.

If you are angry or upset over something someone said, do not take it out on the person you go to for help. This is a matter of focusing and trying to find solutions if you have IMed me. It is not about unloading your frustration on me and making me into the target. That doesn’t help anyone.

Issuing threats in an IM is a TOS violation, DO NOT do it!!!!
MUTE is your friend!
Just because someone is saying something that hurts you does not mean you have to listen.
You do not have to like everyone but you have to be courteous to them as it states in the Tao.

Not everyone thinks before they open their mouth, unfortunately, and sometimes they put their foot in it. Learning to know when to say nothing and walk away is a great skill. It can be your skill as well.

This has been a hard week for us all. Mentors not renewing and being removed. The group being cleaned up and our roles in the volunteer program changing. Change is something that in SL and RL happens. As with any other challenge we will all work together through the difficult patches.

The volunteer email list is not the place to air these issues. If you have been removed from the mentor group, do not email 2000 people to tell them about it. If you have any questions about your removal go directly to the source and IM a Vteam member.

Emailing 2000 people to tell them about how you think the renewal should have been run and your thoughts on it also not good. IM the Vteam and tell them. You need to speak directly to the source.

If you are upset, by all means, IM me and tell me what I can do to help you. Just try and communicate effectively. I know you know how.


1 comment:

Gordon Wendt said...

Doc, I agree with you that threats are entirely innapropriate but for one thing I don't see why they're IMing you or anyone is being told to IM you in the first place since even though you are a greatly respected mentor and a mentor teacher both in official and unofficial role (a guru of sorts?) the V-Team are the only ones who can help. I also disagree on using the list since even though the Lindens would like it to come in in a way where other mentors don't know the amount of outrage that is coming in and that is private and they can more easily control it does not help any of the mentors out if they don't know that they aren't the only ones and the v-team can't sweep it under the carpet. Luckily I got the notice on time on most if not all the forms that they sent it, RSS, mentor group notice, mentor mailing list, and was renewed well in time but even if LL did everything right I still sympathsize with my fellow mentors.

-G.W. (Gordon Wendt)